Don’t get me wrong, having children is a blessing. I love my kids endlessly and will do anything for them. They’re fantastic, but wow do they drive me up the wall. How many times must I tell them not to draw on the furniture, not to sit on the dog or not to flush things …
I truly don’t understand why anyone would choose to drive any vehicle other than a ute. And when I say ute, I mean a big ol’ dirty machine, not one of these petite versions designed for city slickers who plan to occasionally drive on a dirt road. Sure, they guzzle petrol like nobody’s business, and …
My 12 year-old nephew, Jinny, is doing a school project on the topic of gridlock traffic. Can you believe that? Like, doesn’t understanding traffic congestion require at least rudimentary experience as a driver? Obviously, it’s totally possible for a 12 year-old to get their head around it in theory, and they’ve probably been exposed to …
There was a moment there where it seemed like the real estate market had all but evaporated – the agents’ windows were bare, and nary a ‘for sale’ sign was to be seen on the streets. When you did see the odd advertisement, the asking price was never mentioned, with ‘contact agent’ being the default …
Finding a property to buy is easy; it’s wrangling your finances that’s the hard part… at least, that’s what you’d think. I can tell you from experience that finding the right property is half the battle, including when it comes to marshalling the bank to give you a loan. Obviously, that rides on a whole …
Airy the air conditioner and I sit down at the local coffee shop to continue our interview for its memoir. In the comments of my last blog post, a few people thought it was stupid that Airy uses gender-neutral pronouns, and in response, I say this. How would you feel if you were, say, a …
Things are finally starting to settle down for your friendly neighbourhood Sentient Car. Yes, my wife and I are getting a divorce over my lies and deceit over the last fifteen years, and none of my children will talk to me – on account of realising the reason for being bullied at school was because …
As the recently-elected mayor of this town, it’s my personal responsibility to drive around town and make sure the regular people are doing well. It’s one of my favourite parts of the job. It means I spend a lot of time in my vehicle though and need regular car servicing. But it is definitely worth …
Oh, poor Giggle McWiggle. I’ve had to lead him in a direction I never anticipated, and now one of the giant ants has betrayed him, leaving him tied up in a field of blue gingers and bay trees. This is one of the downsides of being such a good writer, having to follow the story …
I think my boss might be a bit odd. And not just a very modern guy or anything, but a full-on, real oddity. Maybe he’s the descendant of a foreign leader or something, or he could have been born in Cuba, perhaps. Ever since he came to this company, he’s been introducing certain policies. I …