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These Accursed Trappings

These accursed moon shoes! I swear, these shoes simply must be from the moon, made for the moon-folk that live there. It’s the only possible way they’d fit anyone’s feet. I keep thinking of my wizard brothers, working in jobs where they can wear whatever shoes they like, like Fizzibottom in the luxurious hamburger creation …

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Window Tinting Interviews

I’m conducting a survey for the Australian Bureau of Random Statistics, to find out why important people and companies had window tinting done. This is the first field job I’ve been given, and I’m really enjoying it, despite all the weird people you come across out in the world. It’s been a really enlightening experience, …

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Half Empty

I live on a busy road, which offers a whole lot of convenience plus some pretty extreme noise pollution at peak hour. Before moving here, I wouldn’t have thought there were enough people in the area to warrant such a din, but I guess it is the main artery between two towns, and people need …

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Boardroom Blunder

The acoustics of the boardroom are not up to scratch – according to Kerryn and Kevin, that is. Those two are always finding something new to complain about, but this is some next level nitpicking. In fairness, it’s not necessarily a bad thing, because it means things get upgraded and improved more than they would …

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Reno Relativity

The term ‘renovator’s dream’ might have been used to death, but maybe it’s due for an unpacking to determine what it really means. The question is, what would be the dream scenario for your average renovator? Would it be an opportunity to really go to town with renovations, updating pretty much everything except the basic …

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I Need A Heater

Something I really took for granted as a kid was all the luxuries my parents’ home had. When I was young I thought that everyone had appliances like dishwashers and washing machines, but I was wrong. We were very lucky to have these things, especially in the area that I grew up. I only realised …

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Topical Tools

I’m fine with having chats about subjects outside my usual areas of interest or expertise, but there is a limit. It becomes an issue when someone keeps bringing such a topic up again and again, to the exclusion of all other topics. This is what Deborah at the shop has been doing lately, day in …

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Hedge of Reason

Some people would call me a perfectionist, although I prefer the term ‘precisionist’ because I don’t really believe in perfection. I’ve searched long and hard for it in my time, and what I’ve learned is that there doesn’t appear to be any such thing. The best we can hope for to come as close as …

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Public Disturbance

“Get your energy storage advice here! Commercial energy storage! The best Melbourne has to offer on page thirteen!” I turned to my friend, sitting in the adjacent seat. Couldn’t we just watch a game of basketball in peace? “Troy, why do you have to pretend to be a 1920s newspaper salesman all the time?” “Extra! …

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Secret Interior Designer

I’m an undercover interior designer. By day, I’m an engineer in a large engineering firm, and by night, I design some of the most important parts of peoples homes, the kitchen, bathroom and laundry. Now, because of the legal agreement I signed at the engineering firm, I am not allowed to practice interior design whilst …

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