Bandit’s Air Conditioner

“How do you think the others are doing?” I asked, looking toward the glass bottle that Space Wizard sat within.

His bottle was inside the new office’s refrigerator as I was setting up the air conditioner. Melbourne had decided to give us a blistering forty-degree day in the middle of winter and although Space Wizard was already liquified, I didn’t want him bubbling.

“I think we’re a good chance to win this one, Bandit,” said Space Wizard. “The Dirge has proven himself to be more bumbling idiot than supervillain, Jack Zebraman will probably be caught cheating, Archerak will be busy heating and cooling Melbourne with his magic and Ms Frankie is just a third-grade teacher.”

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t underestimate Ms Frankie,” I said. “She seems more than competent. I think she hasn’t been trying her hardest in order to lower expectations.”

“Although I understand what you mean, Bandit, she is just a third-grade teacher. She can’t be that smart.”

I shrugged. “I suppose you’re right. What harm could she do when she spends her whole day around eight-year-olds?”


I looked up at the new air conditioner, wondering if I’d installed it right. The remote wasn’t turning it on but perhaps the batteries were just flat.

“I guess it’s time to contact an aircon repairs business around Melbourne and ask for some advice,” I said.

Space Wizard wobbled within his glass bottle. “Why don’t you just push the button on the air conditioner manually?”

“You can do that?”

He continued to wobble, which I assumed was some sort of head shake. “You can do it. I’m liquified. I won’t be pressing any buttons soon.”

“Right.” I nodded and walked across the room. 

Taking a chair, I placed it near the air conditioner and climbed up. I wiped sweat from my brow, cursing Archerak for creating this heatwave if Space Wizard was to be believed. When I pressed the small button on the air conditioner, it immediately began blowing out cold air.

“We did it!” I said. “High-five!”

Space Wizard gave me an unimpressed look.

“Oh, you don’t have any arms. Well, just pretend.”

– Glass Smashing Bandit