Last time I wrote to you I had just started feeling again. I rear ended a car and felt anxious, excited and hopeful as a result. I remember hoping that I’d continue to feel things other than boredom going forward. Well, I have not felt anything other than boredom since a couple of days after writing my last blog post.
I’ve been chasing that feeling since it happened. I’ve tried to ‘accidentally’ (but safely) rear end people again, but because it wasn’t a surprise, I felt nothing. I even tried to get someone to dangerously tamper with my car suspension. Queensland residents are very kind and don’t like doing anything to hurt others and so everyone said no. I didn’t even feel disappointed at that like I wanted to, instead, I just felt nothing.
So I decided to try something different. In my bored brain haze, I was determined to feel again. The last time I felt something was because something negative had happened to me, but doing bad things clearly wasn’t going to work again. As a result, I decided to try and do something good. I called up the auto electrician in Underwood who repaired the dent I had made in the other car. I tried to ask him questions about auto mechanics to see if anything would spark my interest…and something did!
As it turns out, I’m really interested in fixing things. That’s why I had such a reaction to the football sized hole I’d put in the back of the other person’s car. I had never seen anything that broken before, and I wanted to fix it. With the permission of the mechanic, I’ve started hanging out at the workshop and watching them do car repairs. I’m obviously not allowed to do any myself, but I haven’t felt this level of curiosity or excitement in my life, so I’m just enjoying being there.