The Dirge is going to thrash the other competition on Next Top Office. He – that is to say, the one writing this blog post – has such a huge advantage that he probably shouldn’t even be on the show. And now that Space Wizard has been liquified, his biggest rival is the Glass Smashing Bandit. No doubt he’ll be too busy smashing glass in his office to even build anything. Archerak could be a problem, sure, but he seems like the arrogant sort of guy who would underestimate the rest of the competition.
The Dirge has got the blueprints for his office ready, although he is still making adjustments here and there. He loves to put on his favourite dirge while working. It might be time for some new tracks, though, so the Dirge may have to put together a second playlist of awesome dirges – ones that will inspire him to do his best work.
The Dirge used to own an office window tinting company, Melbourne being a profitable area for that, before he went to the Supervillain Training Academy. That is the huge advantage he previously mentioned. It was called Dirge’s Terrific Tinting. While the Dirge expects others to attempt window tinting, he also expects them to underestimate its difficulty. The art of window tinting is one that takes years of training and practice to master. The Dirge has already achieved mastery, which means he will be ready to win the competition with his superior office windows. When it comes to commercial glass window tints Melbourne will love, nobody is as experienced as the Dirge.
The Dirge knows that the other competitors have their own advantages but he is not worried about such things. This is because the rest of his office will be spectacular, created in the design of a classic medieval dungeon, mixed with a modern music production studio. It is a niche design, he knows, but it is perfect for those wanting a blend of old and new. There is no doubt that the Dirge will win this competition, all to help the producers buy their yacht, Charity. At least, that’s what the Dirge assumes this competition is for.