Why did I agree to review fifty new bathroom designs in November? I thought it was totally possible. I tricked myself into thinking I could break it down into small chunks, day by day. 1.7 bathrooms per day didn’t sound like that much work. I told myself I could totally get that done and still have time to work on my novel each day. Well, I was totally wrong.
We’re ten days into November and I’ve only ticked off three bathrooms. How do other people get this done? It’s National Bathroom Critics Month, so there are countless other people managing to review their quota of fifty bathrooms. I don’t get it. Maybe I just haven’t worked hard enough, but it seems impossible.
I mean, critically analysing a new bathroom every half a day of work is just crazy, right? Nobody could actually be expected to do that. Honestly, the entire competition sounds like something that was made up for the enjoyment of a crazy person. Maybe all the bathroom design “winners” are actually made up, to convince the rest of us that it is actually possible. I wouldn’t be surprised at all.
To make matters worse, I committed to writing an online blog post every single day, but nobody is reading my updates. Why am I even trying at this point? It turns out that when you say to people, “I’m reviewing bathroom renovations around Melbourne; do you want to read about it?”, the answer tends to be a hard no.
I’m working really hard here, so it’s very disappointing that nobody is interested in my process. And yet here I am, coming back again, in the vain hope that one of these posts will go viral and I’ll have a career as a bathroom review waiting right for me the next day. Well, they say that you miss all of the shots you don’t take, so I’ll just keep firing arrows off into the night, holding onto hope while being completely, utterly hopeless.
– Ferdinand